The first year of motherhood is just so ridiculously difficult as any mum will tell you. This morning I looked at myself in the mirror with my every growing dark circles staring back at me that have clearly gone beyond the point of no return. I often have flashbacks to my early thirties the pre-baby days when I had time to apply face masks and take long soaks in the bath, co-ordinate outfits not to mention the toilet breaks without an audience.
You get the gist some weeks are tougher than others and it’s hard work that requires well honed management skills, only you don’t get paid for it. It’s “rewarding” people say and there is of course truth in that but I wish we could also be quite honest in saying that some days we just want to run away and drink champagne all day.
Nearly three years on I believe the best gift you can give to everyone around you (especially your children and your other half if you have one) is the gift of caring for yourself. Easier said than done of course but the reality of motherhood is that you can only share as much love and nurturing as you yourself are receiving. It is essential that all mothers ask for help and support on a regular basis in order to replenish themselves and to build up their reserves of energy. I have only just got to the point where I have started to do that.
I write this post not to criticise my 32 months old son because after all he is the reason I love getting up in the mornings and the middle of the night. I am very lucky he is here. Whether you’re a young or an older mum like me watching our little people grow up in front of our very eyes is a privilege. I write this post for the all the hardworking caring parents out there who do their very best daily to raise their mini humans and deserve praise, keep up the good work people and banish those motherhood guilt feelings that have a habit of creeping up on us.
At the beginning of this year I wrote about how I started my day reading statements to help my mood. Affirmations are simple, clear and direct declarations that we say to ourselves in order to achieve change in different areas of life. Developing a powerful positive mindset can be hard when you are an exhausted parent. For example the last two weeks have been intense I have looked after my son who has been poorly and then I sure enough succumbed to the lurgy which meant it was a code red disaster how on earth was I going to cope with everything but of course I did. It’s all experience ultimately but can’t say I learnt anything new.
Then a nice thing happened. A beautiful friend of mine called Stacey a fellow Channel Mum Vlogger sent me a gift totally out of the blue on a day when I also received a £55 parking ticket. In the box were these brilliant Yes Mum cards designed by Hollie De Cruz retailing at £10.50. I was so impressed hence why I’m writing this to urge any parent to get a set or to treat someone to them. There are plenty of other options available too depending on the person and their situation. I do suffer from post natal anxiety and I wrote a blog post called New Year Goals I referred to how carefully constructed statements “rewire” our brains to break negative thought patterns. Why bother with doing this you may ask the process may seem silly if you’re new to it but the idea is to push negativity and self-doubt away and affirm to ourselves that things are good even if we don’t necessarily feel that way at the time.
If you are reading this and feel like you are in a bit of a lull and need to re-energise your mental state of mind I urge you to try these. I take a card each morning and place it where I will keep seeing it throughout the day. Life isn’t always plain sailing as we know and even the most positive minded people will need a boost from time to time. I am well aware that there will be sceptics who say this is all mumbo jumbo and everyone is entitled to their opinions of course. This is a small exercise in my view that doesn’t hurt anyone and worth trying, even for me?….pretty please?
Would love to hear from you on this subject.
Thanks for reading
Keep up the good work!